2017年5月25日 星期四

陳智雄揭碑追思會,女兒陳雅芳會後感言

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作者 台灣大地文教基金會   
2017-05-21

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註:20170520 台獨革命先行者,陳智雄揭碑追思暨蔡有全烈士入祀行儀,陳智雄女兒陳雅芳會後感言,原PO於Line族群,應陳雅芳女士請託,公開轉傳。
中文翻譯:
我不在乎我父親是因為台獨被槍殺的排名第幾順位的烈士,第一或第六,我只知道我父親深愛這個國家,願意為台灣而死,他不只是用講的,而是以身證明,槍決排名沒有意義,對我來說他是英雄,他就是我心中的No. 1,如果有人說他No. 100 我也不在意,我未曾想過從我父親的死而來謀求什麼利益,我的人生失去父親,生活艱困,充滿淚水,沒人在乎,我為了整場追思會,回去又要開始艱困的生活,我不想說人壞話,這不是我的風格,人沒有完美的,包括我,我也犯過錯,我學習,也儘量修正自己,我爸爸透過媽媽教導我們要謙和,有錯就道歉,別說人壞話,沒有完美的人,人都有自己做某些事的原因,不要說人八卦是非。

第一次到台灣是30出頭歲,我現在67歲了,如果我想要尋求幫忙,我早就做了,而不是到現在快70了才要求,我會尋求協助,是因為身體狀況,我總是不想讓父親丟臉,他已經死得很慘了,不想讓他看到女兒給她丟臉而難過。

我會跟我父親站在一起,不讓任何人侮辱他。

請記得,儘管當初我父親有得選擇,給錢要我父親閉嘴,但他拒絕了。

我哭是因為打從心裡的難過,我不是愛戲劇化,博得同情,你能想像父親在你2歲時就離開嗎?尋父過程不簡單,充滿淚水與希望,最後只找到骨灰,4年前(2013)我看到遺照,他倒臥在血泊,不只槍殺他,還用斧頭砍他的腳,用鐵絲刺他的嘴,我內心崩潰了,如果我能報復殺人,我老了,行動變慢,我想到就難過。

如果我說我愛台灣,可能大家不會意外,我愛台灣是因為身上流著父親的血,我是半個台灣人。

每個人在鏡頭前都可以大聲說支持台獨,但如果有槍抵著你的頭、斧頭砍你的腳、鐵絲刺你的嘴,就不一定了,連我自己都不確定我可以。

但我父親年輕時就決定獻身國家,他幫助印尼獨立不是因為愛印尼,他只是希望印尼哪一天也能幫台灣,因此他才被關了兩次。蘇卡諾背叛他。

所以我父親是一個英雄,我以他為榮,敬仰他。
我也要感謝所有承辦與參與追思會的朋友,我無法一一列名,因為不是英文名。
(撰於2017/05/21)

英文原文:
I NEVER Care for my father So number one OR number Six OR what number, What industry I know my father Love this country  And willing to die for that review ... he is NOT Just Talk ... Talk ... Talk ... BUT prove that he is right Loving this country ...

Number means nothing ...

For me he is a Hero ... he loves his country with all his life ... not only talking ...

For me he's number one, I don't care anyone wilk put him number 100 ... means nothing for me ...

I did not seek to benefit from my father's death, I lived a life of loss as a father, a hard life ... filled with tears ... no one cares ... I came for a whole ceremony ... after that I went home to live a life not easy ...

I really don't like to talk bad about anybody, that's not my style ... because nobody's perfect ... including me ... I do so many mistakes ... but I learnt ... and try to be better as long as I can ...

My dad taught through my mother to be gentle ... if you make wrong ... you must apologies ... do not talk bad about other people, because nothing is perfect, everyone has problems and reasons to do something and do not like to gossip ... don't judge anybody ...

The first time I came here when I was in my thirties ... now I'm 67 ... if I want to ask for help then at that time I've done ... not now when I'm almost seventy ... when I think want Ask for help because of my health condition, I always think, do not embarrass my dad ... I think enough already he suffered in a sadistic way ... and I don't want to make he feel sad to see his daughter make him lose his face ...

I will stand for my father and will not let anyone insult him ...

Should be remembered ... even though at that time my father had a choice, they gave enough money when he shut up, but my father refused ...

I cry because from the bottom of my heart I feel sad ... I am not an artist or Drama Queen ... crying to get sympathy ... can you imagine, if you father left you since you're 2 years ... you are looking for him not in easy way, a long journey fill with tears and hope ... finally you you just find the ashes ... and ... 4 years ago I got the picture, see his body lying on the ground cover with blood ... not only they shoot him but the wired his mouth and axe his feet ... I feel broken inside ... if I could I'll kill them ... I am too old to move on so fast ... then anytime I remember that I feel sad and crying ...

If I sad I love Taiwan, it's not to impresse anybody ... I do love Taiwan, because my Father's blood running in mine and I am half Taiwanese ...

Everybody can say ... I stand for Taiwan Independence ... in front the camera looks so brave ... but I am not sure they can do this with gun on their head, wired their mouth and axes their feet ... To be honest I myself not sure can do this ...

But my father since he was young dedicated his life for his country ... he help Indonesia independence, it's not because he loves Indonesia, but he hope in return Indonesia can help Taiwan someday ... for that he put into jail 2  times ...

But Soekarno betrayed him ...

So for me He is my HERO ... I am proud of him and I adore him ...
I also thank all those who have worked hard and participated for this event, I can not mention names because they are not in English ...
(2017/05/21)
 
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